Never miss a good chance to shut up.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye openner.
I plan to be spontaneous - tommorow.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Eagles may soar but weasils don't get sucked into jet engines.
Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
You are depriving some village of an idiot.
Remember: half the people you know are below average.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Light travels faster than sound. Thats why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Guns don't kill people - Husbands who come home early kill people.
Ambition is poor excuse for not having the sense to be lazy.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
Your proctologist called, they found your head.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple payments.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
Synergy BlogPhotosProfileFriendsMore 
Tools 
Invite as friend
